mutilated

what can i do to keep one day from endlessly bleeding into the next? i feel like it's groundhog day sometimes, except i've never seen that movie, except for little bits and pieces of it when i'm flipping through the channels, and except that i can't really change anything that happens, i just keep having the same day over and over again. is everyone depressed by working full time? i have trouble motivating myself to do anything that seems like work-- even this. somehow i got inspired to work on this again after setting up a blog for work.

and now for something else.

last night i saw the last half of dr. 90210. there was one of the usual i-love-my-new-cleavage stories, which jarringly segued into one of the doctors doing pro bono work on this guy who was totally mutilated in a car accident. his face is all plasticky looking and there are huge scars across it, and he basically has no nose. the doctor is going to do surgery to create a new nose for him. then another doctor comes in, and he takes off the guy's glasses, and it turns out (you couldn't see this at first because of the glasses) that he only has one eye. so the doctor takes out this sort of large clear contact that is sitting in his empty eye socket, and starts pushing the guy's head back and opening up the socket as wide as he can so he can peer into it. so then there's a commercial and a little more fluff, i think the part about the two doctors, the one with the blonde skinny wife who you can't believe actually completed medical school, babysitting the other doctor's kid, and then we're suddenly back again to the mutilated guy. it's the day of his surgery. the doctor is explaining to him how they have to take a piece of his rib out to make a new bridge for his nose, and how it's going to be very sore afterwards. and how they have to take it from the left side because he basically no ribs left on the right side. then she marks where his ribs are so she can take a piece of one out. before they can start the surgery, they have to insert a breathing tube into his throat because he has so much scar tissue or something that there's the danger that he might suffocate during surgery. so the anesthesiologist has to stick the huge needle into his neck up to the hilt, to make his throat numb. then the anesthesiologist sticks one of those cameras at the end of a tube down his throat, and the whole time the mutilated guy is gagging and wretching horribly, despite the anesthetic. and then the episode ends abruptly, in the middle of the gagging and wretching and shoving things down his throat, and it's like a cliffhanger for next week's episode. i don't know why, but i found this all very disturbing. maybe it was just the juxtaposition with the perkier boobs and the trials and tribulations of rich plastic surgeons. i also didn't catch it the beginning to see under what circumstances the car accident actually happened. so i don't know why it found it so upsetting... the guy was also very stoic and subdued about the whole thing, almost like he'd stopped caring about anything. the doctor said he'd probably had by now over a million dollars worth of reconstructive surgery, and one probably need two more operations.